Laci & Berlin: Within

This week, I feel like my self-acceptance and the feeling of being at home here in Berlin has reached another level. Outside, while sunbathing in the naturist part of Hasenheide, enjoying the sunshine, the music, the sight and the company of the people, I noticed that I feel like it was no longer out of my subconscious that this landscape is here, these people are here, and here I am as a separate entity. But I am a part of it, in all my qualities. I’m here with them. I’m included within this environment.

A nuance of difference “before,” but I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that way, somewhere. I don’t know if I felt this in Hungary in 28 years. For me, this seems like a new feeling. A more reassuring, liberating, safer starting point from which I connect to the world in a different way. It reduces my anxiety and performance constraints, which I can now define quite well.

I am grateful to be able to live and feel this. For someone, this is definitely evident. Those e.g. I know who didn’t understand why I can’t live through certain situations in an easier way. Will this feeling stay stable with me? Would it be evident to live this way as a Roma, an LGBTQ person, a Central European and / or an immigrant with a lower class background?

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